Is Speed Dating For Losers? What I Experienced
Published on 22/09/2024 | written by Darcy Todd
Yes, I Too Thought Speed Dating Was For Losers…
I never thought I’d find myself at a speed dating event. The whole concept seemed ridiculous to me – a room full of desperate singles trying to find love in five-minute increments? Please. That had to be for losers who couldn’t get a date any other way.
But there I was, standing outside “Be At One,” tugging nervously at the collar of my button-down shirt. How did I let Sarah talk me into this?
“Come on, Alex,” she’d said, rolling her eyes at my protests. “When’s the last time you went on a real date? Your Tinder profile isn’t getting any matches.”
She had a point. At 28, I was deep into my career as a software engineer, and my love life had taken a back seat. The dating apps on my phone were more like forgotten icons than actual tools for meeting people. Still, this felt like admitting defeat.
So I gave it a try…
As I pushed open the door to Be At One, the buzz of nervous chatter and clinking glasses hit me. The place was dimly lit, with small tables scattered around the room. Each one had a flickering tea light and a sad-looking rose in a bud vase. Real classy.
I made my way to the check-in table, where a bubbly woman with a clipboard greeted me. “Welcome to Dateinadash Speed Dating! What’s your name, honey?”
“Alex,” I muttered, already regretting my decision. She handed me a name tag and a scorecard, explaining the process with practiced enthusiasm.
Then I had my first date
I settled into my first table, across from a woman with curly red hair and a friendly smile. “Hi, I’m Jessica,” she said, extending her hand.
“Alex,” I replied, shaking it. “So, uh… first time doing this?”
She laughed. “Is it that obvious? Yeah, my roommate dragged me here. You?”
“Same story. Friend thought I needed to ‘get back out there.'”
We chatted easily about our jobs and hobbies, and I found myself relaxing a bit. This wasn’t so bad. The bell rang, startling us both.
“Wow, that went fast,” Jessica said, looking genuinely disappointed. “It was nice meeting you, Alex!”
And then I got into it
The next few “dates” were a mixed bag. There was Emily, who spent the entire five minutes talking about her cats. Then came Zoe, a fellow software engineer who had me laughing within seconds. I even had a surprisingly deep conversation about travel with Mia, a high school teacher.
Of course, there were some duds too. Like Rachel, who asked about my salary within the first minute (hard pass). Or Brittany, who seemed more interested in her phone than our conversation.
As the night progressed, I found myself getting into the rhythm of it all. The rapid-fire nature of the conversations was oddly exhilarating. No time for awkward silences or overthinking – you just had to dive in and be yourself.
And then I realized something
About halfway through, I had a realization: this wasn’t so different from using dating apps, except it was way more efficient. Instead of endlessly swiping and messaging, I was having real, face-to-face interactions. I could gauge chemistry and get a sense of someone’s personality much quicker than I ever could online.
By the time the final bell rang, I was surprised to find myself a little disappointed it was over. As we mingled afterward, I struck up a conversation with Zoe again. We exchanged numbers, not wanting to wait for the official “matching” process.
So I was wrong
Walking home that night, I couldn’t help but chuckle at how wrong I’d been. This wasn’t for losers – it was for people willing to put themselves out there and try something new. Sure, it was a bit awkward and artificial at times, but so was any type of dating. At least this way, you got to meet a bunch of new people in one night.
Over the next few weeks, I went on a couple of dates with Zoe. We didn’t end up being a perfect match romantically, but we became good friends. More importantly, the experience had reignited my interest in dating and meeting new people.
And here’s what I learned
Go in with an open mind. I almost let my cynicism ruin the night, but once I loosened up, I actually enjoyed myself.
Be yourself. I tried sounding sophisticated at first, and it just came off awkward. Once I let my natural humor shine through, things went much smoother.
Take breaks if needed. I snuck off to the bar between rounds a couple times, and it helped me reset and come back refreshed.
Don’t pressure yourself to find an instant connection. I went in expecting to hate everyone and ended up having several enjoyable conversations.
So is it for losers?
So, is this for losers? Not at all. It’s for anyone open to trying something different in their search for connection. Yes, it can feel forced or awkward at times, but it’s also an efficient way to meet new people and sharpen your social skills.
In our swipe-happy dating culture, there’s something refreshing about face-to-face conversations, even if they’re brief. It’s a reminder that chemistry isn’t always something you can gauge through a screen – sometimes you have to experience it in person.
Just remember – it’s not for losers. It’s for those brave enough to put themselves out there and give something new a chance. And in the end, isn’t that what love is all about?