What Are The Disadvantages of Speed Dating?

What, they just line up singles and you get to talk to them? You know what I’m talking about, speed dating! You searched for it and here we are, but what are these singles events, surely not swingers and singles parties! 

Yes I hear you, a group of singles enter a bar and instantly meet the next love of their life in person. Sounds too good to be true hey? So what’s the catch? And what are the disadvantages of speed dating? 

Well rest easy because you’ve come to the right place. I might not be good at coding or choosing matching socks, but when it comes to these events, I’m your man. As the founder of Speed Dating Social, I Darcy Todd, with the experience of running over 700 events will take you through the pitfalls of a blind dating night. 

All you need to know about the cons of speed dating

Alright, just like the news you want to look for the negatives. There’s plenty of good things in life but hey, you non believers searched up disadvantages so lets look at the negative aspects of attending a speed dating event! 

1. Doesn’t have your age range… 

Bam, you’re too old, or two young. To be honest I’m not sure which one you fit into but here’s how it works. You see an Instagram ad, get super excited about meeting a bunch of eligible singles only to find there’s no events in your age range. But why’s that? 

Well young whipper snapper, or more mature chicken, the way speed dating works is we need to find a rough age range and enough attendees of the opposite sex to fill it. When you guys in your teens or super early twenties get all excited, you forget, women under 25 don’t really gravitate to speed dating the way you young bucks do. So what’s the result? Posting a 18-25yrs event would be all dudes, virtually no females and a bunch of complaints. That’s why we cut them off at 25 years. 

Now reverse that for you more mature sophisticated ladies. Starting in their 40s, but more notably in the over 50s singles nights, the male attendance just drops off. And that’s even worst for the over 60s. Don’t get me wrong, I fully agree, we should run over 60s events, and there should be lots of mature men and women. But men, like women are biological creatures, and they don’t tend to book the higher age ranges. So for all you over 70s and 80’s, I’m sorry, but I just don’t know how to run an event if we don’t have enough attendees… 

2. Aren’t close to your location

Again we want to meet smart, sophisticated and sexy singles. You know, just like yourself. And I know there’s only one of you but we actually need 30 or even 40 people to run an event, and this is how people work. If we post in bigger cities, with a population of at least 3 million people, that’s enough to support a weekly speed dating event. BUT… It needs to be close to the CBD and accessible to the greatest number of people. 

Now the disadvantage means those of you way out in the suburbs, or even kinda out in the suburbs is we just can’t bring full events your way. What I’ve noticed with a Brunswick event compared to a Melbourne CBD event, is even just 4kms outside of the city center attendance is almost halved. And with half the people, it’s very hard to host. And honestly, if you have to travel an hour to get to an event, the people you meet will probably live a long way from you. That’s not to say you can’t invite them to live in your mums basement, it’s just a tad harder is all. 

3. They aren’t your sexual orientation

Again, we’re in the business of introducing singles, no matter their orientation. And I do, really, really love you. LGBTQ, Gay, Bi, Lesbian – I love you. But again, we need at least 30 or 40 of you to turn up on the night to run an event. So if you’ve got access to that many people, let me know, I’ll run the event tomorrow. But otherwise some demographics, especially depending on your cities just don’t have enough people to suit your orientation. Like look below, here’s some different orientations, it’s just really hard to create enough events, and get enough attendance at those events to keep everyone happy. 

  • Heterosexual: Attraction to people of the opposite sex.
  • Homosexual: Attraction to people of the same sex.
  • Gay: Typically refers to men attracted to men.
  • Lesbian: Typically refers to women attracted to women.
  • Bisexual: Attraction to people of both sexes.
  • Pansexual: Attraction to people regardless of their sex or gender identity.
  • Asexual: Lack of sexual attraction to others.
  • Demisexual: Attraction to others only after forming an emotional connection.
  • Queer: An umbrella term used by some to describe non-heterosexual sexual orientations.
  • Questioning: People who are exploring their sexual orientation and haven’t yet identified it.
  • Sapiosexual: Attraction to intelligence in others.
  • Androsexual: Attraction to men or masculinity.
  • Gynosexual: Attraction to women or femininity.
  • Skoliosexual: Attraction to non-binary or genderqueer individuals.
  • Polysexual: Attraction to multiple genders, but not necessarily all.
  • Omnisexual: Similar to pansexual, attraction to all genders but often with an acknowledgment of gender.

4. No-Shows

This one is hands down the worst. It’s like being stood up for your date. People book a spot then for whatever reason, you’re sick, you forget, your helicopter broke down. Then they just don’t turn up on the night. There’s got to be a pattern, but it’s like stock market, there’s some kind of correlation, but I just can’t pick it. And men and women are just as bad, sometimes several guys won’t show up, sometimes several women choose not ditch an event. 

Fortunately it’s not the end of the world, all it means is that instead of talking for the entire time, you may have one or two empty dates and just have to chill by yourself. This can be frustrating, especially for the host, but most people tell me one or two empty spots is okay and they normally take the down time to catch up on selecting their matches. 

5. Chats that are too fast

I get it, when I’m too fast in bed she’s mad and now when our conversation is too quick their not happy too. But this one’s tough and I’m not sure if it’s a disadvantage, it’s a bit of a double edge sword really. If you like them, then of course it feels like the chat is too quick. But if you don’t like them, you complain that it’s too long. It’s a bit like bloody Einstein in that all time is relative. 

In general you’ll be meeting a lot of people each night. And a speed date is literally just that – it’s a speedy date. If you double the length of the chat, then you half the amount of chats you can have in the same time. You literally can’t have it both ways, unless you like groups and orgies… But in general I’ve found 5 minute chats keep the majority happy and it’s literally just a taste so you can decide if you’d like to match them. 

6. The venue is too loud

Now this one is my bad, well kind of. To chat, you need to be able to hear the other person, crazy hey. Except for all you lucky sign language people. But even just people talking to people, and I’m talking with no music can actually create considerable noise. So it’s important to choose an event with a big venue, ones with lots of sound absorbent stuff, like couches and pillows. And defiantly no DJS! 

Remember even if you’re in your cities capital city, what sounds quite to a seasoned bar staff, is actually incredibly loud to attendees, epically when you’re in the middle of 30 conversations. 

image of a man and woman trying to talk in a bar that is too loud

7. Its at the wrong time!

Are you serious, running an event at 7pm?! That’s when I have to pat my cat Rufus. And he does not like to miss a cuddle session. That’s why another disadvantage of speed dating would be if it doesn’t mesh with your schedule. This is probably more important for those single parents of career focused individuals who don’t just have to write blogs all day in the hopes that you’ll be found. 

This is also everyone’s fault, let me explain. Most normal people want to go out at prime time, think Friday and Saturday nights. Because yes, most of use have uni or work during the week. But when we all want to go out, means quite often bars and clubs are already full and won’t give optimal bookings. Some speed dating companies stick to weekdays, think Monday or Tuesday events. Are you kidding me? That’s why I always beg to get venues to give us a weekend booking. 

8. Lots of compertition

I’d be so much better at winning this race if I was the only one running it. And I agree, The Batchelor does look fun, especially when 1 guy has 20 ladies fighting over him. But unless you’re a billionaire, that’s not normally how it works in the real world. 

But on that same not, it’s not that hard to stand out. Just dress nice, say something half intelligent and use deodorant. Those who are worried about competition are always beaten by those who just do. So just do it, strap on those Nike kicks and run up to a date and say ‘Hey’ because they just might be the one for you.